#& workin on edits for a few fics im hoping to have up soon !!

[tetzoro]

good morning friendz and happy happy tuesday !! me & your faves are rooting for you all to kick todays ass !! you got this ! remember to drinks lots of water and unclench your jaws ! ^_^

[sillyrabbit81]

Hi rabbit I have an idea for a story! What if reader was married to Sy’s best friend and has a toddler but her husband was killed on duty when the baby was only a few weeks old? Sy has taken it upon himself to make sure reader and her little girl are looked after. But as months go on they both develop feelings and Sy pulls away out of guilt and reader is feeling shattered. I’m imagining an angsty fic with some smut at the end?

Summary: Sy made a promise to his best friend, your husband, to look after you and his son when he died. One night, Sy takes things too far making a drunken pass at you just before his last deployment and it threatens to derail your relationship. Sy sees you again for the first time since that night at a New Year’s Eve party.

Pairing: Captain Syverson x Single Mother Reader

Word Count: approx. 1.8k

Warnings: Sy POV, Angst with a happy ending, implied forced kissing/unwanted kissing, mention of death, implied smut.

Authors Note: Ok so, in a panic I remembered that I was supposed to do a New Year’s Kiss fic for @cavillsthighs Cavillmas. I’m so sorry I forgot all about it. Luckily, I had part of this story rolling around in my head for a while thanks to the anon ask. It’s not exactly what you asked for Anon, but it did inspire this fic.

Thanks to @henryobsessed for Beta reading and @amberangel112 for Beta reading and being the best title fairy ever!

Edited by me, there will be errors.

Please be gentle with me, I wrote this in a couple of hours in a mad panic 🙈

Masterlist

More Than Ever

“Uncle Sy!”

I turned round just in time to put my beer on the table and squat on tired knees to scoop little Ryan into a hug. I stood with the boy pressing him close to my chest. He was heavier than I expected, I guess that’s what nearly twelve months of not seeing a kid will do.

“Lemme look atchu, Ryan,” I said, pulling my head back to look at him. God damn that kid looked like his Daddy. Had your eyes though. “Jeez, you’re so big. You gonna be drivin’ a car soon I reckon.” I squinted my eyes at him. “You been workin’ out? Is that it? Been bulkin’ up?”

Ryan giggled and shook his head. I put him down, and got low again.

“Yeah ya have,” I teased. “Show me them guns.”

Ryan lifted his arms bending at the elbow, I copied him and he growled as he flexed, veins popping out in his neck. Trying to keep my laugh in I growled back at him, tightening my muscles. He lowered his arms and brought his fists close together in front of his belly.

“Whoa!” I said, reaching out to give his little skin and bones arms a squeeze. “Ya better put those away, Ryan. Ya scarin’ me.”

He laughed again and kept growling as a hand ruffled his hair.

“He’s been talking nonstop about seeing you since I told him we were coming,” you said.

I almost couldn’t look at you. I pulled my sunglasses down over my eyes and stood. I kept my gaze on Ryan. “I missed ya too li’l man.”

“Didja buy me a present?”

I laughed as you chastised him. I finally looked at you, and took an unsteady breath. God damn, you were so beautiful, to perfectly good. I felt like I had to go have a shower or something just be good enough to talk to you.

“He’s fine Darlin’, I did get ‘im somethin’,” I said.

“You did?” Ryan exclaimed.

“Yeah, it’s inside under the tree. Ask ya Aunt Caroline to get it for ya.”

He ran off with a squeal, you turned to watch him but my eyes couldn’t help but look you over. You looked amazing in your tight jeans and sweater, hugging you in all the right places. My body went into overdrive just as my mind went dumb.

You turned back to me but couldn’t meet my eyes. I clenched my jaw, you shouldn’t be the one who’s ashamed. I had hoped that after we had talked those few times you would have been ok to see me again. That night was all me, all my fault. I wanted to apologise again, I would if I thought it would do any good. I had to say something, I couldn’t let this awkwardness go on or we’d never get past it.

“You look well,” I said. My voice was a little more hoarse than I would have liked, but you didn’t seem to notice.

“You do too,” you said. You peeked shyly at me, fidgeting a little with the sleeves on your sweater. “It’s good to see you.”

With relief I let out a breath. Maybe it would be ok. “You too, Darlin’.”

You took half a step toward me, an awkward, hesitant step. I did the same and wrapped my arms around your shoulders as yours slid around my waist. As soon as I made contact with you my body ached. I wanted to hold you to me, press my nose into your neck and smell you, feel your skin warm against mine. But your body was stiff, like you didn’t want to actually hug me, and I felt cold.

Clearing my throat, I let you go. That was ok, I would just talk to you. We could still do that right? I hadn’t ruined that had I? Maybe I had. Maybe all I could hope for now was polite small talk and the superficial conversations you had given me since that night.

Alright, I’ll go back to basics, I’ll start again. Maybe one day you’ll trust me enough, to let me back into your life once more.

“So, uh, how’s Ryan goin’?”

You smiled like you always do. You’re so proud of your boy. “Good. Be prepared for him to ask you to take him camping again.”

“You want me to take him?” I asked, wondering if my being forced out of your life meant I was out of Ryan’s too.

“You don’t have to,” you said. “My brothers older now, he’s been spending time with him.”

I sucked my lip into my mouth as I considered your words. They stung, a lot.

“I want to take him, Darlin’. I like the damn kid.” You smiled at me and like a damn fool I couldn’t leave it at that. “I made a promise to his Daddy and I intend to keep it.”

Your face darkened and I knew I’d fucked up. “Christ, Sy,” you said.

“Darlin’…” I put my arm out to you, but you turned your back on me and walked away. “Fuck.” I looked around to see if anyone noticed the exchange, but no one seemed to be paying us any mind. I picked my beer up and shook my head. This was going to be a long night.

I kept my eyes on you all evening. Even when I had to take my sunglasses off, I didn’t stop looking at you. I gave you your space though. I didn’t try and talk to you again, though I wanted to. I wanted to explain, tell you that I was sorry. That I’d never try that again, but you seemed to have made your mind up and things couldn’t go back to how they were, how they had been before I was deployed, before that night.

It was getting close to midnight. I’d leave as soon as the clock ticked over, let you have some fun without having to look over your shoulder at me staring at you the whole time. I made sure not to drink too much so I could drive. And so there wasn’t a repeat of that night.

To say I was shocked when you came and sat next to me was an understatement. I would have been less surprised to see the Queen of England walk through the door, naked, and chugging a beer bong.

You didn’t say anything for the longest time, you just sat there looking straight ahead, and I could almost see the wheels turning in your head. It was making me nervous, I wanted to tell you just to either yell at me, hit me, or go away. But I sat there because I owed you, you deserved to be heard out.

“I wasn’t upset that you kissed me, Sy.”

I damn near fell out of my chair.

Then you actually laughed, not a laugh of happiness, but of bitterness and that was somehow much worse. “If I’m honest, I’d wanted you to kiss me for a couple of years.”

I wanted to jump out of my chair, I fucking knew it. I knew there was something between us. God fucking damn it. Even that night, drunk as I was, (and I remembered more of that night than I cared to,) I could have sworn for a few seconds you had kissed me back.

“It just really hurt that you came to me like you did.”

“I get that,” I said softly. “You’re right, you didn’t deserve that.” No woman deserved what I did. Showing up at your place unannounced, drunk as a fucking skunk, horny, and scared out of my mind about going on another deployment, I was a fucking mess. You should have kicked me out the minute I made the first pass at you.

“Did you mean what you said?” Your voice was so small, so hesitant, but also hopeful.

“Yes,” I said without hesitation. “I meant every damn word.”

“Do you still want that?” Why were you so scared? Did you really not know? Did you really think I only said those things to cause I was drunk and trying to get into your pants?

“Yes.” I tried to look you in the eyes so there was no mistake, so you knew I was telling you the truth, but you barely looked at me. “More than ever.”

You were quiet again. The kids were starting to get excited, and sparklers were being handed out. I checked my watch, it was only a minute until midnight.

You stood, and I stood too. You closed the distance between us. “I know it’s been nearly five years since Ryan died, but I still miss him.”

“I know,” I said, trying to keep the hope out of my voice. “I ain’t tryin’ to replace him. I just want to be there for you, Darlin’. For both of you. I won’t try anythin’ like that again. Not unless you ask me to.” I was babbling. I should shut up.

“I missed you just as much.” You were looking at the kids, watching them laughing and squealing with anticipation. “This year was awful. I don’t want to go through that again.”

My fingers actually shook as I put my hand to your cheek and turned your face to mine. “What are you sayin’, Baby?”

The countdown started, kids and adults alike shouted the numbers at the top of their lungs, but as far as I was concerned there was nothing in the world except you. You lifted your eyes to mine, finally letting me see you. My heart cramped, it hurt seeing the pain in your eyes.

“Baby, what is it? Tell me,” I implored.

“Kiss me, Sy,” you whispered so softly I could have sworn I imagined it, until your hands rested on my chest.

I lifted my other hand to your neck and licked my lips. I watched you do the same, and you closed your eyes. My nose bumped into yours and for a moment I stayed there, waiting, sure you were going to push me away. But you didn’t and I pressed my lips against yours.

With my hand on your neck, I felt you whimper. God that was the hottest thing and I instantly felt my cock kick in my pants. Barely keeping control, my lips stroked yours as yours caressed mine.

I pulled away slightly, keeping my head close to yours. I didn’t want to, but I had to, I wouldn’t make the mistake of going too quickly. I was gonna take this slow, though it would damn near kill me, I was gonna treat you right.

The party was singing, couples were kissing, and the kids were writing words in the night air with their sparklers. Maybe it would be okay. We could start fresh, a clean slate, maybe this could be a new beginning.

“Happy New Year, Baby,” I whispered, not caring at all about how out of breath I was.

“Happy New Year, Sy.”